Handbags and Bitchslaps

Interesting lot those Hurricanes eh?

Not only does Ma'a Nonu wear mascara, but Tana Umaga's preferred method of controlling team member's behaviour in public is a gentle swat with a woman's handbag. Even more priceless is the team member's reaction to this admonishment was to burst into tears.

I dunno 'bout you, but I'm not entirely comfortable with our macho rugby players displaying signs that they have come straight from the auditions of Brokeback Mountain. I await the next instalment - perhaps we'll learn that Paul Tito is a cross-dresser, Jerry Collins sleeps with a teddy bear or maybe Neemia Tialata moonlights in a band that does Village People covers. And of course this is Helen Clark's fault and the fact that all our primary school teachers are female.

Reading about this reminded me of one of the funnier things I've seen while watching rugby. As a young lad, on orienteering trips to Wellington I used to stay with a fellow orienteer called AJ and his best friend was a guy called Adrian McKenzie. Now Adrian was the son of a cop, extremely genial, and was a giant with size 14 feet at age 15. So it was not a huge surprise to see him some years later playing for the Manawatu rugby team (when they were half decent) as a lock, although I did wonder about the lack of fire in his belly for competitive sport.

During one game on TV, I noticed that one of the opposing forwards had worked out Adrian was a bit of a softie and was needling him throughout the game. Obviously it had the desired effect, as at one point Adrian had had enough and turned around and ...

bitchslapped him. That's right, gave him an open-handed smack across the cheek right in front of the ref and on TV. Now back in those days, any hint of trouble would spark a massive all-in brawl but this guy who had been physically assaulted just stood there with his jaw around his knees with a priceless expression that said "You .... slapped me???". The ref was also rather dumbfounded before deciding that this transgression deserved to be penalised.

Last I heard of Adrian was he was plying his rugby trade in France and I always wondered how he would handle the eye-gouging and testicle-pulling tactics over there. And yes, Adrian was from Wellington.