Weekend Wrap

I'm trying to forget the weekend as quickly as possible. The pack of Pensioners won another game at RWC, the Kiwi Rugby League team redefined the term "sporting embarrassment" and (now that I live away from the big smoke), Auckland voters showed they have as much political intelligence as American ones by electing John Banks as Mayor.

But wait. All that pales into insignificance because ...

Marina Erakovic, the darling of NZ Tennis, won ANOTHER $25,000 challenger event, this time in Rockhampton (somewhere in Australia apparently). That sure makes up for the disappointments of the last couple of weeks, doesn't it Kiwi sports fans.

I see the rest of the world is still picking over the carcass of the All Black's quarter-final loss; this morning I have to read former Welsh winger Jonathan Davies accusing the NZ team and management of arrogance. Hmmmm - someone remind me exactly when was the last time the boyos from the valleys actually won a game against us? Even if the All Blacks had displayed signs of arrogance, which I don't think they had, winning 42 out of 47 games gave them the right - up until last Sunday - to walk around with a little bit of a strut in their step.

So excuse my mirth when the very next article I read, about the search for the next Welsh coach, contains this classic piece of ... ummm, arrogance?

(CEO of Wales RU) Lewis said he had been encouraged at the reaction to the panel's search.

"What has been hugely encouraging is that everyone we have made contact with has been prepared to speak to us and hear what we have to say. That proves the role of coaching Wales remains one of the plum jobs in the world game."

You gotta be fuckin kiddin me. The Welsh coaching job is a poisoned chalice, and the only reason coaches are even talking to you is the fat chequebook in your pocket. So to have Mr Davies accuse the All Blacks of "arrogance" while his own CEO is describing the Welsh coaching position as a "plum job in the world game" is laughable and pathetic in equal doses.

God I hope Wales get drawn in our pool in 2011. Along with Fiji.

Weekend Wrap

Last word to Jonah Lomu. Asked in a TV interview who we should blame for the All Blacks' defeat, he replied "Blame the French. They beat us." About sums it up.

Honestly, I've avoided most of the TV and press over the last 24 hours. Open up the Herald this morning and we can read all sorts of angles - including how Monday was a non-productive work day and wife-beatings are on the increase. For fuck's sake, it's a game of rugby. I'm done with it - we lost for a variety of reasons to a team that played bloody well.

I reflect on the weekend as a rather special 4 games of rugby. That we have eight teams capable of producing such "theatre" (to borrow a term from John O'Neill) should be something rugby afficianados applaud. Yes, even that turgid England - Australia game, but that only qualifies because of the unexpected result, combined with the Australian forwards going AWOL. If they weren't so busy poking the borax at us here in NZ, I'd love to read the Australian media's analysis of their own team performance.

It will take a while to forget another amazing 10 minutes of Fijian rugby - if they played like that for 80 min gawd help the rest of us, while it was interesting to see the Argentinians are not quite as good coping with the favourites tag as they are when underdogs.

Having recently moved towns, I'm very much in "look forward not back" mode, so thoughts are already turning to the semi-finals which have the potential to produce more theatre, wouldn't you agree John. But I suppose he is too busy hating the English to read this.

Current odds for the RWC winner's market at Betfair are:

South Africa 2.38
France 2.66
Argentina 10.5
England 8.8

SAF have drifted over the last 24 hours while the other three are coming in. Perhaps people are cottoning on to the fact this is now wide open, but I remain slightly bemused that if the more likely France-South Africa final eventuates the South Africans will be favourites. Not in my book, but we'll see how they play this weekend.

If you think the mis-alignment of planets is consigned to rugby, over in the cricketing universe I'm seeing England leading an ODI series in Sri Lanka, the Indians winning an ODI against Australia while South Africa just won a test in Pakistan. Another reminder about the glorious unpredictability of sport, which is part of its attraction - but I guess NZers don't want to hear about that at the moment.

Back later in the week.

Weekend UNWRAP

They say moving house is one of the more stressful times of life. Having now done it 4 times in 5 years it should get a bit easier, but it doesn't. The actual move was a piece of cake (hiring a truck and 3 Arnold Schwarzeneggers is definitely worth the money), but the afterlife is where the fun begins...

Frustration finally boiled over at 3 p.m. yesterday when the electrician still hadn't turned up (I needed extra powerpoints in the house); so a phone call to the competition in town saw them (the competition) turn up in 15 minutes. Go figure. Now with power to needed areas of the abode the fun of getting a new computer to work begins. At this stage the On/Off button has been located.

Add to that despite the house having a nice digital TV dish sitting on its roof, the cable coming into the house had been cut. Get that sorted, only to find the dish needs to be upgraded as TV pics consist of the "Rain Fade" message (even in brilliant sunshine). And of course some parts of Paeroa (including the part I live in) is one of the few areas in NZ that requires a satellite dish to get TV3 - yes the channel with the RWC matches.

So with no TV and limited computer access for 4 days you lot can tell me what happened over the weekend. Cause I don't have a farkin clue.

Weekend Wrap

After the first weekend of RWC, I wasn't prepared to write off the northern sides, but with the further evidence presented over the last 48 hours if the four semifinalists are not from the southern hemisphere I'll run naked down the street. Given Ireland's complete meltdown Argentina should qualify top of Group D giving them a QF against Scotland. Which means we'll probably get the Frogs - and that ain't necessarily a good thing. Ahhh well, a couple of interesting QF's to watch then.

But before I get back to packing boxes, I'd like to share with you an outstanding piece of NZ sporting journalism. Yes, I'm back on the sporting minnows crusade, and you have to laugh that the article was penned at about the same time Georgia nearly caused the upset of the century against Ireland. This plonker argues the RWC should be reduced to 16 teams using the mis-match of the ABs and Portugal as a reason. Which conveniently ignores the fact that in 1995 when the ABS murdered Japan the RWC was only 16 teams.

Mis-matches will occur whether you have 20, 16 or perhaps even only 12 teams. In fact, given the SAF-England scoreline there may be a case for suggesting a 4-nation RWC if you want to avoid one-sided affairs. With a 16-team RWC we may not have had the Fiji-Canada or Samoa-Tonga games which were both entertaining and deserved their place at the tournament.

Mind you, this journo shows his intelligence in another article with this astonishing fact:

"... and Kirwan is the only New Zealand coach, this time managing Japan."

Pardon? So Peter Thorburn must be the waterboy for the American Eagles then. And while Michael Jones is obviously proud of his Samoan heritage I seem to recall he played in a black shirt after being born in Auckland.

The amount of articles the NZ Herald are churning out over the RWC is mind-boggling. If their writers believe there are too many minnows at the RWC, perhaps they should practice what they preach and concentrate themselves on quality rather than quantity.

Weekend Wrap

Having watched every Super 14 match earlier in the year, there ain't no way I am even going to attempt to watch all matches from the Rugby World Cup, especially with the 20/20 cricket about to start and the small matter of moving towns on the horizon.

The only game that really mattered was the first - as Argentina upset the hosts and threw a spanner into my prediction of a NZ v France final. It may still happen, as the finishing positions in that pool will probably not be decided until the final match on Sept 30 (Ireland v Argentina). While most people are musing on the sub-standard performance by the French, the main point I took out of the game was the refereeing. Spreadbury was horrible - his control over the breakdown was non-existent and while I do not begrudge the Pumas their victory (they deserved it purely on their tactical nous and errors the French made), play that game with a different referee who knows something about killing the ball illegally and you would probably have a different result. No, not sour grapes (I didn't bet) - but the lesson to be learned is get a referee who will be lenient on slowing the ball down and you will have a horrible, defence-dominated game which is exactly what the All Blacks do not want. Those are the sorts of games where they will be brought back to the chasing pack.

So while we can all crow about the teams south of the Equator getting off to a flying start while the northern hemisphere (supposed) giants struggle to put away the likes of USA and Namibia, it won't mean much if the likes of a Spreadbury controls a game that matters where defence is allowed to dominate and it becomes a contest of territory and who has their kicking boots on. That is my major fear for the ABs winning the tournament.

Now I all hope you put some moolah on Douggie being top tryscorer like I told you. Don't panic this week when Henry names the Fijians for the Portugal game - actually it is possible Howlett will get the start to get the tryscoring record out of the way, which would be nice. Habana grabbing 4 for the South Efrikaans wasn't exactly in the script; if he scores a couple more in pool play someone pass me the number of a French hitman please.

Back tomorrow or Wed for a serve at NZ Cricket.

Weekend Wrap

Pssst Trev. There’s another Kiwi athlete out there that requires your psychological services. Women’s Marathon runner Nina Rillstone was “happy” with her 13th placing at the World Track and Field Championships:

"I'm happy enough - but if I'd managed a place in the top 10 and I would have been really, really happy," said Rillstone.

Now come on Trev. On a weekend where New Zealand can celebrate another four world champions we can’t have our also-rans expressing joy at a thirteenth place now, can we? Or being “really, really happy” if she managed to get into the top 10. Go and sort her out please.

Yes, three rowers (well, six actually – did you see the coxless four power past the 27-race unbeaten Brits? Phenomenal) and women’s motocross rider Katherine Prumm all won world titles in the weekend, which confirms what some of us have known since the days of Mark Todd and Charisma – when it comes to sports involving sitting on your arse, we Kiwis have a head start. Which kinda makes a mockery of SPARC’s Push Play campaign encouraging us to get outside and enjoy the fresh air.

Let’s face it –we are damn good at sitting on our arse. So instead of giving NZ Golf $1.4 million to try and turn us all into recreational walkers swinging a stick at a ball around a piece of grass, how about a new Lazy Boy for every family with 2 kids or more so we can ingrain from an early age the proper arse-sitting techniques that are so essential for sports such as equestrian and rowing.

Sounds like a bloody good idea to me. The fact that I need a new lounge suite – worn out from too much arse-sitting – of course has nothing to do with it.

Yeah, I’m in a good mood. When the pokie-loving wife comes home with the jackpot from the local pub in her handbag, followed by an inspired bet on India at $1.96 when England were 95-1 in their run chase last night (10 min later they were 104-4), I’m in love with life again. The only worrying thing about having a golden run in betting at the moment is currently I have a loss on an All Blacks win at RWC. Gulp.

Weekend Wrap

Awww shucks - if there were more than 3 of you begging I might keep going. But here's one last wrap for the weekend, because there is something I want to get off my chest ...

I love Valerie Vili. No, not in a sexual way - get your minds out of the gutter. To me, she encompasses all that an elite sportsperson should be - a touch of arrogance spiced with at the right times humility (yes I know that's a contradiction), emotion worn on the sleeve that is not scripted for the public a la Sharapova (and yes, let your minds wander into the gutter for a brief sec at this point ...), and I guess it helps she's spent part of her life on the wrong side of the railway tracks.

But do you know what I really love about her? EVERY time - bar one - she's stepped up to the plate in a major competition she has done a personal best. The exception was the 2004 Olympics, where a hospital stay prior was a reasonable excuse. She is one tough cookie and given her age she has the potential to dominate her chosen sport like no other, so long as drug testing regimes stay one step ahead of the cheats.

So as our other famous female field athlete rides off into the sunset (Queen Bea couldn't qualify for the Discus final today), salute our World Champion and make a note to vote for her in the People's Choice awards - she deserves it (no matter what the All Blacks do).

And before I leave the World Athletics Champs, let's dissect the comments of Kimberley Smith, our 10,000m runner who came a more than creditable fifth. The newspaper started their article with the following:

Kimberley Smith came away from the track after finishing fifth in the 10,000m at the world track and field championships yesterday disappointed at not winning a medal but happy with her placing.

Now my interest is piqued. A medal after all, is just another term for a top 3 placing, so how can you be happy with your placing but disappointed at missing a medal? Further on, we get to her quotes:

"Fifth place is very good, I mean I know that. Not many New Zealanders have gone quite fifth on the track. I don't know when the last was, so I mean I'm happy with that, but it's very disappointing."

Now I know it's hot in Osaka and she could be suffering from heatstroke, but there is one big mixed message in there. And then the penny dropped.

You see, thanks to a certain CEO of a certain government department who told us in no uncertain terms 18 months ago that a fourth = failure, our athletes have to be careful not to appear overly satisfied with these tin placings for fear of a Heineken bottle shoved where the sun don't shine and having their mental toughness questioned.

So to paraphrase - Kimberley is bloody stoked to finish fifth - and so she should be, because it is a meritorious performance in a sport where chicken-leg Africans dominate. But she can't say so, because Nick or Trevor will tell her off for being soft.

Comments on the rugby will follow in a couple of days, right now I've got to get my head around another all-nighter in front of the TV trying to work out which of the two most inconsistent sides in ODI cricket is going to come out on top. Pass me a coin someone.

Weekend Wrap

Ahhh this explains everything. The Aryan looks, fierce competitive streak, insatiable sexual appetite, even the taking of banned substances. Just not the portly figure.

Yes, Shane Warne is German. Or at least it appears he wants to be. Thanks to the birth place of his mother, the man who would probably sell his mother for thirty pieces of silver is looking at getting a German passport so he can play as a "local" in English county cricket. Of course, this has not gone down too well with our friends across the ditch. Prime Minister John Howard is "amazed" that he would consider such a course of action, "and so would a lot of Australians"

Listen, Digger John. You've helped create the monster that is Australian sport where winning is everything and you bend the rules at every opportunity to create an advantage. The correct Australian reaction should be "Fuck off Shane, you've retired from playing for us - become a German, Namibian, Argentinian or Moldavian - we don't care". That I could understand.

Anyway, back to the weekend. Thanks to the NZ Herald putting up a countdown clock for the Rugby World Cup I'm aware it's less than 20 sleeps to go. So I made the effort to watch the warm-up games over the weekend (and did last weekend as well) to see if I should continue holding my breath for our beloved AB's.

Not really. The Northern Hemisphere sides are waking up from their summer slumber looking surprisingly lethargic (and in Wales' case, at times clueless) and I'm struggling to come up with a viable alternative to the ABs winning Billy. If it wasn't for our previous record at RWC we'd be Australian-like confident. So I guess we should give the other sides a few weeks longer to show their wares before casting the prediction in concrete.

However, what has been occupying my mind more than the forthcoming RWC and NZ tennis player Adam Thompson's loss in the semi-finals of a Tier 3 tournament in Peru (thanks again NZ Herald - I lost my cornflakes again), is the playing of netball on concrete.

In case anyone hasn't noticed, it rains a lot here in NZ during winter. And concrete netball courts get a tad slippery. So put 10 y.o. females who haven't fully developed their co-ordination onto them and it's like a stalled car on train tracks with a big light approaching. I saw more crying on Saturday than during a season of English Premier League.

I don't know what the alternative is - but young girls taking a tumble on concrete more akin to a skating rink can't be all that enjoyable - and when you add in the parents standing in the pissing rain getting chillblains, smiling through gritted teeth - yep, there has to be another way. Or am I getting soft in my old age?

Weekend Wrap

With a week between cricket tests I fell into the trap of watching a bit of sport for fun over the weekend, but this time I'm glad I did after an enthralling 90 minutes of rugby league involving the Warriors and Roosters.

Now I'll admit league is not my favourite sport and I tend to keep my emotions in check when it comes to the Warriors, as like the Wellington rugby union team and women who refuse to sw... (ok, we won't go there), they usually build your excitement up to significant levels before crushing them in ultimate disappointment.

But no matter how the Warriors finish the season, they have given us some serious entertainment and much of it of high quality. So I don't care if they lose all their remaining games this season, they can have a pass mark from me already.

Now I was going to spend the next part of this post bagging the ref, as his dubious sinbinning of Mannering with 12 min to go and missing the ball being punched from Price in extra time probably had a bearing on the final result. But for once in my life, I've stopped to think. To be fair, one of the Warrior's tries was off a forward pass. And, while we can point to 2 or 3 decisions from the ref as having an influence on the end result, what about the influence some players also have? For example, the Roosters were in possession with less than a minute to go, but a dropped ball allowed the Warriors to get their hands on the pill and get down the other end for the field goal to tie the game. If we bag the ref for changing the course of the game, then to be fair that poor mug who dropped the ball should also be lynched (at least by Roosters fans).

The only stats I've seen on the accuracy of officials' decisions in sport come from cricket and gridiron. In both cases, they get it right about 90% of the time. Isn't that good enough from "humans"? While most would agree the Roosters and Warriors played not only an entertaining game, but one of quality, there were still 12 errors from each side, about 30 missed tackles from each side, and they didn't complete all their sets when in possession (although they got pretty damn close).

Maybe I'm mellowing in my old age, but I'm taking a break from criticising those who defend the rules in sport. Hell, why spoil the memory of a great game of footy with a few negative barbs at the plonker who gave the Roosters an 8-2 penalty count? It's not like they have eyes in the back of their head ...

... which is what Wellington prop Neemia Tialata needed. Anyone who saw THAT punch hopefully feels like me - absolutely disgusted. If that was thrown on the street instead of the field he'd be locked up, so I hope Clint Newland gets banned for life. But of course he won't, apparently violence in sport has different rules to violence in the community and I await the inevitable slap over the wrist with a wet bus ticket.

Now people, take note. Be prepared to hear about John Isner. Who? A 6 foot-10 inch 22 y.o. American tennis player who has the most dangerous serve in the game and who has just completed an amazing couple of weeks in tennis, winning a Challenger event (as a wildcard) and reaching the final of an ATP event (as a wildcard, losing to Roddick 4-6, 6-7). Y'know what's funny? Our own Dan King-Turner is ranked ahead of him - well, shortly to be was. To our sporting media who think NZ tennis players have potential, do an exercise and look up the change in Isner's ATP ranking over the past couple of weeks to understand what "potential" really means.

Oh, and Tiger Woods won a golf tournament by 8 shots. A week before the US PGA. Anyone prepared to bet against him?

Back tomorrow or Wednesday when I am going to town on Mr Davydenko.

Weekend Wrap

So that's it then. The next game the All Blacks play - in 47 days - will be at the World Cup. How are we all feeling? Confident? A little nervous? Holding your breath a bit?

Well here's a tip. Go away and forget about rugby for a month or so. Yes I know the Air NZ Cup starts next weekend, but this blog will become relatively rugby-free for a while, until the Northern Hemisphere sides start their warm-up games. The All Blacks will fly to France as deserved favourites, but not the $1.50 shoe-in that the bookies still have them as. The Squad picked had only one surprise, and the conspiracy theorists can go away if they think Weepu (and Flavell) had his name crossed out because of the nightclub visit last week.

I have a lot of thoughts about RWC, but they'll come out closer to the time. In short, I think we'll win it, but from the quarter finals on we'll be in for tough games of the ilk we've seen in the Tri-Nations.

Anyway, I've had an all-nighter watching cricket so I'm off for some sleep. Ciao.

Weekend Wrap

Motivation to write is about high as the mercury at the moment - distractions abound with school holidays and the wife's birthday in the weekend. I could bang on about the Herald letting us know the rankings of our top tennis players (Dan King-Turner is up to a career-high 412 in the world; marvellous stuff) but even that joke is wearing a bit thin.

Despite the distractions, I managed to earn some moolah when for some reason England were $1.55 to win the last ODI against the West Indies and caught the replay of the Bok-Oz rugby test where I didn't bet. It doesn't surprise me the Boks covered the handicap, but they won't in the weekend - more about that in the days to come.

Not only is the weather depressing me - being July means most of the sport I want to watch/bet on is in the middle of the night and I would have loved to have been awake for the Wimbledon final. Over 30 million quid got traded on the men's final as the match wound through it's enthralling journey. I see Federer got as high as $2.42 in the final set when he was break points down; this rivalry with Nadal has the potential to keep us entertained (and making money) for quite some time to come.

Finally, an honourable mention and shout-out to the NZ team at the Junior World Orienteering Championships - four top-20 placings in the two events so far. I know I'm biased, but to me that's just as newsworthy as the mediocre rankings of our top tennis players.

Weekend Wrap

OK, I'm offically spewing. Not because the All Blacks lost, but because I didn't friggin' win any money off it. In fact (be prepared to laugh), I was so sure NZ was going to run away with the game after halftime I backed them on the handicap during the break. I bet I wasn't the only one.

So for the third week in a row, we watch a team unable to convert a 9-point lead into a win. You don't have to be Einstein to work out what happened:

(a) not taking opportunities to score
(b) tackling below-par
(c) a certain referreeing decision

Of the list, (b) is the most worrying and to me reflects a little bit of complacency crept in on the flight from South Africa. So the loss may or may not be a good thing from a RWC point of view; unfortunately the MCG debacle may be (slightly) forgotten by the time we're in France if we smash the Aussies in the return fixture at Eden Park in a few week's time.

Bah humbug. Enough about the rugby. I can only take solace that the rest of the world might start to believe the ABs are not the shoe-in for the World Cup that perhaps was once thought and that ridiculous price on the winner's market (now out to $1.46) may continue to drift.

Now, does anyone else feel sorry for the NZ Mens Hockey team? They blew a 2-goal lead late in the final of the Champions Challenge to eventually lose in extra time to Argentina. According to the paper this morning, the loss not only means missing out on the Champions Trophy next year, but missing out on $270,000 of high performance funding from SPARC.

So, win a tournament that ranks you seventh in the world and you get $270,000. Finish runners-up in said tournament that ranks you eighth in the world and you get zilch. Just doesn't seem right to me. If our high performance hockey programme is worth supporting; support it. If not, don't. But to see such a large discrepancy in funding based on one tournament result is to me a joke - the team went through the tournament unbeaten (in reality they "drew" the final - extra time is played only to find a tournament winner) yet now come home with their Olympic build-up facing an uncertain future.

But of course the highlight of the weekend again comes from New Zealand tennis. Our darling top female player Marina Erakovic won her first career doubles title in the weekend, at some futures tournament in the wop-wops of Italy. I can't wait to see how much her doubles ranking improves from last week's 266. Such news really helps dull the pain of that All Black loss.

Weekend Wrap

Well I guess there were only two things we cared about over the weekend; however, after flicking channels in the early stages of the rugby and catching two ad breaks and a 100m Alinghi lead I kinda lost interest in the yachting quickly. The depressing thing about the boat race is these things tend to be one-way traffic, so don’t be surprised at a 5-0 loss for Team NZ – I hope I’m wrong.

But one-way Tri-Nation rugby tests are a rare beast (49-0 last year notwithstanding). For the second week in a row, we watched the favoured team come back from a nine point deficit early in the second half to get over the line. There are a few things we can take out of the game, but let’s correct one thing before it gains momentum; it is far too early to triumph the success of the reconditioning programme just because the Boks ran out of gas towards the end of the game.

In fact, NZ commentator Tony Johnston really got up my goat with his effusive praise of this as we ran the legs off the Boks from 60 min on – especially as a couple of moments earlier he told us an “exhausted” Byron Kelleher was being subbed. Well Tony, if the Reconditioning Prog – nah lets call it the ABRC ‘cause it’s a fkn long thing to type – was such a success, how come ol’ Byron, who should have more stamina than Makybe Diva given who his ex-girlfriend is, was so bloody “exhausted”???

International sporting contests rarely involve two opponents in an equal state of preparation or fitness. It’s my opinion that the physicality of rugby has been ratcheted up a notch or two, as players (ALL players, not just those wearing a black shirt) get stronger, faster and fitter. An equally plausible explanation for the weary legs of the Boks could be the effect of the physical encounter they had a week prior.

So before we champion the success of the gurus running the ABRC, let’s see how they react to that bruising, physical encounter next weekend shall we? Let’s see how much “gas” the All Blacks have in the last 20 minutes at Melbourne on Saturday after recovering from that game and a 14-hour flight.

Or are we that arrogant to think we have some exclusivity to ideal methods of physical preparation for rugby players? No, the strength of rugby in New Zealand is its depth, and having the likes of Weepu and MacAlister come on at the hour mark would make even Maurice Greene look like a slow pony. And let us not forget SAF had five front-line players out (Smit, Smith, Spies, du Preez and Habana) and while they don’t exactly have a bare cupboard either when it comes to replacements, I do wonder how the game would have panned out if they had those five and we had our first-choice locks.

So let me re-iterate a previous point – combatants don’t arrive at the battlefield “equally ready”. Which makes this coming weekend’s game against Oz potentially as interesting as the one just gone. One team gingerly walking off the plane while the other having an extra week to freshen up. Licking my lips already – just need the bookies to make the ABs $1.30 favourites.

(PS: Yes this was written on Sunday - I see our yachties got one back overnight)

Weekend Wrap

Ahhh I love it when the underdog does well. I'm not talking about the Canadian or Aussie rugby teams (rugby is tomorrow's subject), but that cigarette-puffing overweight Argentinian who tamed the Tiger at the US Open.

Despite winning all his majors when leading at the end of the third round, there seemed to be a resignation that Woods would finally come through from behind, especially when the overnight leader Aaron Baddeley triple-bogeyed the first hole. But three stupendous approach shots by Angel Cabrera on the back nine together with holding his nerve (no doubt helped by those Marlboros) whisked the title away from Eldrick.

I actually feel a little sorry for Tiger; in my eyes he deserved to win but couldn't buy a putt. But don't feel too bad for him, with 12 majors under his belt (not to mention another 7 minor placings) he's doing OK - sometimes the rub of the green (sorry, couldn't resist) just doesn't go your way.

However the real reason for bringing up the golf is to have a bit of fun over comments made by our own Michael Campbell, whose verbal diarrhoea skills are surpassing mine (and that's saying something). Let's pick out a few of his quotes after the weekend, shall we?

"It wasn't much fun out there, put it that way. I used to enjoy coming to major tournaments and playing them. But when you are out there grinding your butt off for bogeys and pars it is not very nice."

This from a man who won the US Open two years ago at even par after four rounds, winning the same way Cabrera did - shooting a final round of 1-under while everyone else fell away.

"But now there are just guys making bogeys and it is making us look like fools."

I wonder if he had the same sentiments when Retief Goosen and Jason Dore shot 81 and 84 respectively in the final round during his 2005 win? Yeah, right.

"It is on the edge of embarrassing some of the guys"

Agreed - those who get around the course at +24 after 4 days should feel embarrassed. It isn't all to do with the course buddy.

Campbell fears golf fans are being cheated of final-day excitement as major championship organisers set about toughening courses.

Bullshit. I was riveted to the final round yesterday morning wondering who was next in line to fluff a hole. Tell you what I do find boring in golf - pros waltzing around tournaments winning them at 25-under par.

Cambo needs to pull his head in, and remember he was the benefactor one year on a tough golf course, so having to read his boorish complaints basically because he isn't playing well is a bit rich. Someone needs to concentrate on fixing their own backyard.

Rugby for the rest of the week as we build up to a mouth-watering clash at Durban.

In Recess

For anyone who cares, I suppose it is fitting a Super 14 season punctuated by one point and last minute victories had a final end the same way. Not great if you were Sharks backers - luckily I didn't post on Friday as I thought the prices were slightly wrong (I had the game closer to evens).

Unfortunately, some family problems means I'm unable to devote much time to the blog at the moment so it's going into recess (again) for a while. Dunno when I'll be back - depends how long it takes to sort the mess out.

Ciao.

Wrap Postscript

Before we move off the weekend, let us congratulate the most outstanding NZ sporting achievement: No, I'm not talking about the NZ women's hockey team win over Australia (pretty bloody impressive), nor my stepdaughter's continuing hot hand at the netball courts (7 out of 8, also pretty bloody impressive) ...

Yes, of course I am talking NZ Tennis and the marvellous news that Simon Rea won his second "career title" at a futures tournament in China. I love the last line - "Rea, 24 (marvellous potential that - a 24 y.o. on the futures circuit) ... should see his world ranking go inside the top-600 now"

Wow, that's sensational. At this rate, by the time he is 40 he may be knocking on the door of the top-200 and then we have a real future star on our hands that may even get the boffins at SPARC excited.

FFS. I wish I was rich and retired as I would go through the 100-odd sports there are and compile a list of New Zealanders ranked in the top 600. It would take a fkn long time; christ even at the height of my sporting prowess I was ranked inside the world's top 600, and it's not something I even mention to my neighbour, let alone expect to be published in a newspaper.

Why do our sporting media have such an obsession with our semi-amateur tennis players winning third-tier tournaments? We suck at tennis, and there are some other sports out there with purely amateur sportspeople who do a hell of a lot better than make the top 600 who never get a column inch. Stop being so lazy journos - get off ur arse and discover the wonderful diverse nature of sports and the New Zealanders who participate in it rather than tell us what Leanne Baker, Dan King-Turner, Simon Rea et al are doing every week.

Weekend Wrap

Semi-final rugby is sometimes not a pretty beast. Watching the Bulls and Crusaders trading penalty kicks brought back some of my earliest sport-watching memories – watching NZ and SAF trade penalty kicks in the 1970’s. And just like then, the Saffers seemed to get more shots at goal than we did.

No, I’m not blaming the referees. Mr Dickinson was largely invisible thank God, but if Matt Goddard is the No. 2 ref in Oz then the front row is not the most pressing problem in Australian rugby. Our teams got beaten fair and square by their slightly better ones, which seems to be widely acknowledged. Messrs Flavell and McCaw were very gracious in defeat, Troy even thanking the Durban crowd which was very nice of him, and over at Keo they’re gushing at how well we’ve taken the beatings.

Well I’m not. Before I get accused of talking thru’ my wallet, I needed a Crusaders loss more than a rabbit on Viagara needs sex – so even though it’s roast lamb rather than noodles for dinner for a wee while, I’m not a happy chappy.

Our teams lost. This is our national sport. Our teams aren’t supposed to lose. For only the second time in 12 years, no NZ side in the final. Are you getting angry yet?

What gets up my nose is in our SPARC-led sport and recreation system where winners are grinners and the rest can go and jump, there should be widespread anguish and a public inquiry into these unacceptable losses. If our sports leaders publicly declare failure and question mental toughness when we come 3rd or 4th in tin-pot sports like shooting and lawn bowls, where is that hard-nosed mentality now when we finish 3rd and 4th in the Super 14? Even though it’s essentially a provincial competition, surely the Super 14 is more important to the mood of the nation than shooting flying discs of clay?

Instead, we are getting excuses. Our AB’s aren’t up to scratch yet from their reconditioning programme. Apparently the South Africans will find it very hard to continue such fine form through to the World Cup. What a load of poppycock. Wake up and smell the roses people – the Jaapies have caught up and this cosy “she’ll be right come September” attitude needs to be immediately extinguished.

Compare this to the Australian cricket team – you didn’t hear them complain when they lost the Commonwealth Bank Series that they were in the middle of a large training load. Apparently we want to be more “Australian” in our sporting approach – so can sporting journos lead the charge and stop writing crap such as this:

The defending champion never stopped trying but it was clear key players, including sin-binned skipper Richie McCaw and first five-eighths Dan Carter, were still short of a gallop after sitting out the first half of the campaign during the All Blacks' conditioning period. (ChCh Press)

FFS, how many games do players need??? Earth to Tony Smith - a first-five does not need a truckload of games to get into gallop; go and rewatch Carter's (fine) performace in his first game back against the Stormers. I can see it now, if we lose to SAF at RWC it will be because their players have had 23 games of rugby compared to our players only playing 16.

Despite the respect being shown South African rugby, I fear complacency is alive and well – the excuses and peaking in September bullshit shows that. Instead of saying “We weren’t good enough but it’ll be ok come September”, we should be saying “We weren’t good enough and THAT’s not good enough”.

Weekend Wrap

So, is everyone STILL looking forward to a Blues-Crusaders Super 14 final in 2 weeks time? While I’ll grant you it may still happen, anyone who happened to catch the Bulls runs riot against the Reds yesterday morning won’t be in a rush to join the queue to bet on it. Pretoria should be renamed Pamplona after that effort.

Their unlikely march to a home semifinal (so unlikely that the Sunday Star-Times had no problem talking about a home game for the Crusaders – gotta love those newspaper deadlines) has caused a bit of an upheaval in the S14 winner’s market on Betfair – prices as of last night being:

Crusaders $3.40
Sharks $4.10
Bulls $3.00
Blues $7.40

What these prices are telling us is whoever wins the Bulls/Crusaders semi will then in all likelihood travel to Durban and be favourites for the final. Dream on. Both the Bulls and (an admittedly AB-less) Crusaders played the Sharks in Durban during the round robin and the Sharks were favourites both times. Why will it be any different for the final? I’m waiting to see with interest what the TAB will put up for the winners market and also the prices for the two semis which I’m finding hard to guess what they’ll be.

Also in the SST noticed Tiddlywinks Tana came out blasting the standard of refereeing. He has a point, and it’s something to note for next weekend – two SAF/NZ semis means two Australian referees (who have been the worst of the lot) – so Stuart Dickinson and A.N.Other will have the chance to potentially fuck up two rather important games. Christ, I’d think I’d prefer a Saffer ref from 1976 than the clowns we’re going to get.

Enough about the rugby – back on Friday for previews. I won’t mention the Warriors (damn, I just did) – suffice to say such form turnarounds make NRL more frustrating than S14 for betting, which is why I avoid it like the plague.

However the highlight of the sporting weekend has to be watching my stepdaughter sink 11 goals from 13 attempts. She’s only just starting her second year of netball, but Irene Van Dyk better watch out!

Oh, and my Orienteering friends will be interested to know I suffered a physical exertion injury. A sprained foot on Saturday night kicking my stepson up the arse had me on the couch with an icepack on – brought back some fond memories of the distant past.

Have a good week everybody.

Weekend Wrap

I give up. There is one thing in punting land I hate - really hate, and that is missing an opportunity backing an outsider that I am quite keen on. As I previewed on Friday, I did expect the Brumbies to give the Crusaders a game, but couldn't see how the Brumbies would score enough points to win.

So after Friday night where a failed sideline conversion cost me my Highlanders bet, and woeful finishing by the Chiefs meant I fell on the wrong side of the handicap, the mood in this household turned a darker shade of black as I watched the Brumbies put in the kind of performance I thought they could, but without any money riding on it. FARK FARK FARRRRRRRRRRRRK.

Thankfully due to the Cricket World Cup the damage is not severe and my stepkids will not be on baked beans and weetbix for the next month, but it has been a timely reminder the difference between success and failure in this game can be small. And I shouldn't complain - the weekend's rugby results has breathed a bit of life into the competition that was supposedly dawdling to an inevitable Blues-Crusaders final at Jade Stadium.

Talking about dawdling competitions leads me to the Cricket World Cup. When the final was delayed by rain I fell asleep on the couch (my body clock is well and truly fucked) and rather fortuitously woke up when Sangakarra and Jayasuria were in the final stages of their partnership, at which point I quickly decided the $1.28 on offer for Australia to win was a gift not to be refused. About 10 nanoseconds after placing the bet, a wicket fell - if only life could be so easy all the time.

Although it has been kind to me, the whole competition has been a disappointment, for many reasons. The failure of India and Pakistan to qualify for the Super Eights robbed that stage of the competition of half of its meaningful games, although to be fair (a) if they lose to so-called minnows they didn't deserve to be there and (b) most of the Super Eight games were one-sided so it probably didn't make much difference. At the other end of the scale, Australia's dominance put another 6 games on the boring list, but again it's well deserved.

So the cricketing world continues to hold its collective breath waiting for the Australian cricket juggernaught to hit some speed bumps - and given the bowler of the tournament was a 37 y.o. and the man of the match was another nearly old enough to be a grandfather, perhaps there is some light at the end of the tunnel for the rest. But don't bet on it.

Given the darkness of my mood, it didn't take much for me to start ranting about nothing. Yesterday it was reading a heart-warming piece in the Sunday Star Times about the Ice Black's (NZ's Ice Hockey team) magnificent effort in winning Division 3 of the World Ice Hockey Championships. Yes, a 7-0 drubbing of South Africa (based on the rugby I'm seeing, we better start making a list of sports we can beat SAF at - might come in handy about September), a thrilling come from behind victory over Ireland, not to mention wins over Luxembourg and (the piece de resistance) Mongolia sees the Ice Blacks return home victorious.

Whoop-de-farkin-do and who-farkin-cares. What the article doesn't tell us is NZ is ranked 38th out of 46 nations in Ice Hockey. Winning the lowest division in Ice Hockey means that NZ will still be ranked 38th out of 46 nations (We beat No's 41, 43, 45 and 46). I suppose such expanded coverage of a minor sport should be applauded but not when it's dressed up as something magnificent when it's not - FFS we got relegated from Division 2 last year so NZ should be expected to win Division 3.

Still, if I put my rose-tinted glasses on perhaps the NZ sporting media are going to start taking an interest in the myriad of minor sports that help make up the fabric of sport in this country. Yeah right.

Today Turiana Turia continues to ensure the cats are staying well away from me by saying it's all the white man's fault for introducing the smacking of children into this country. Apparently the Maori had other ways of disciplining children before Christianity arrived. I better stop before I get myself into trouble - suffice to say the mind boggles what "other ways" were used for discipline (now now Rangi don't be a naughty boy or I'll put you in the kumara pit) and when she turns up to Parliament barefoot in a flax skirt I might take her comments about colonisation seriously.

Time to go and take a chill pill. See you tomorrow.